so long din post le..
blog wanted to rot liao..
lols..
dunno wad am i now..
no study no work..
totally like a useless person..
cant even afford to get you the thing you want..
i'm so sorry about that..
tho you dun mind i still feel very guilty la..
haiz..
so, let me think how do i put it in words..
okay..
everything started all over again..
nothing different from before just less quarrels..
i was happy..
really..
believe me or not..
tho it was short this time round but i really enjoy spending time happily with you..
everything just seems so sweet without quarrels but just little arguments which brought us closer to each other..
everything little thing you do just mean a lot to me..
but indeed happy moments really doesn't last long..
history do repeat itself..
like you say to me already..
so i expected this day le..
so, dunno how to say leh..
sad confirm is have de la..
but not really that sad le leh..
even cry also cry awhile jiu okay le..
far more better den the previous time..
like people said, cry long le will also be numb de ma..
but i'm sorry for act as if i'm really happy in the messages..
cos i dun wan you to be sad..
i dun wan to affect your mood..
i'm not worth for you to be unhappy over..
things might not go the way i want them to be now..
but time do shows everything..
so i'm still waiting^^
cos somethings just haven happened yet so cannot so fast predict the outcome ma:)
dunno why i sound so confident in it..
but i believe things will some how become unstable and changed after that..
so that will be great:)
even cant changed what facts also can make things go haywire..
lols..
but lucky i'm not the overall loser:)
thats something i could celebrate about..
so now back to one piece again..
chatted with pq just now..
she really say alot of sensible stuff which makes me feels better..
i keep thinking of what to do and how to treat you better..
but she say in whatever case, do what thing also must have xin..
bo xim jiu no use le..
thats really true la..
in a relationship, there's always one party who will do more for another party..
tho it is not fair but it can't be helped de..
so, if things are to go back like before again..
i can still tell you i will do anything for you without regret..
maybe you dun really believe that i really love you that much..
or you just think everything i say is for fun..
but every word i say to you really come out from the bottom of my heart..
you might choose not to believe me..
but you could never changed the facts..
that is i love you..
everything is just so true yet you like to crush my heart again and again..
and me being so dumb, idiotic, insane, stupid, brainless..
i'm willing to get hurt again and again without regrets..
you know better den anyone why i'm doing this le ba..
that day already told you all my zhen xin hua le..
i told you i wanted to be your last..
you agreed and yet now leaving for another..
what does that mean?
i told you it would be my fault if you fall for another person..
cos i'm unable to make you fall for me that deep..
so that would be my fault and i'm a failure..
and i told you i just want to spend everyday with you happily with you before you leave..
this is never a lie..
but just a simple wish yet you're unable to help me fulfill it..
and you told me do what ever and how hard i try also no use de..
cos you simply dun give a damn..
you say dao like this what else can i say leh..
of course is let you go right..
like that den you will be happy ma..
you happy den i will be happy le..
nothing is more important den your happiness..
but i know you will say i must be happy den you will be happy..
your standard line..
lols..
but really my happiness all depends on you..
cos i have risk it all i have on you le..
but seriously you are worth the risk^^
you are worth for me to do anything to you..
i dun mind swallow down all the unhappiness just to keep you happy..
i really tried my best to keep things going le..
but no matter how hard i try still cannot savage the situation..
you know everytime on the phone with you really wanted to chat happily with you instead of two of us keeping quiet on both ends..
tho i'm sad but i can't do anything about it..
we had simply ran out of topic:x
message also..
your reply like dunno wad, make me sian sian..
but everytime still trying my very best to cheer you up..
but doesn't work..
so sometimes i'm clueless..
sorry for not able to cheer you up..
thats the simplest but yet i cant even managed to do it..
felt so useless sometimes..
tho everything is like this now..
what i said to you will never change..
i will be there for you always..
never walked out on you..
supporting in whatever decision you make as long as you are happy..
you will always be the one and only..
i'm willing to give up the whole forest because of a tree..
thats because you're just so special to me..
the chemistry between us is not just so simple..
never mind..
think you wont understand what i say de..
you're just so dan chun..
thinking totally like a kid like that..
do things also dumb dumb de xp
dunno if i'm not there for you anymore what will happen to you lo..
i dun dare to think you will become how wor..
okay..
now i'm gonna tell you this..
even if history is going to repeat a million time,
i dun mind to get hurt a million time cos the person is you..
and i told you already..
i'm not asking much..
just a call to ask how am i, wad i'm doing all that..
a message in the morning and night..
does that really take up a lot of your time?
this things really keep me going..
everything i do is out of loving you..
maybe you think i'm asking for too much ba..
i cant expect you to follow the way i wanted you to be..
that would be controlling you, leaving you with no freedom..
i know thats not you want..
so all the way din control you at all..
doesn't mean i dun care about you hor..
but think he is all you care about now le ba..
re read everything again le..
understand why thing turn out this way today le..
oh ya..
no point doing that..
cos i still saw it..
hope rejection wont occurs..
if not that feeling is going to be damn bad..
okay la..
i'm tired le..
going sleep now le..
nights all..
to my dearest,
ily..

ps. maybe you dunno i used to dislike mango so much in the past ba..
but because of you like mango, i started to drink mango red tea and start eating mango le..